My Sacred Commitment

Last week I did some super-deep work, very liberating.

This week It started poking me again. Huge. I’m off-track somehow, It says. Have you ever had the feeling someone behind you was staring at you, and you turn to catch them square in the eyes? That’s how it’s felt – that visceral. That evident. I keep turning around, but I haven’t seen what I know is meant for me to see.

Yet.

Then last night Art Brock reminded me of practice groups, and work I’d done with practice groups came to mind. Thank you, Art, for helping me uncover the seed of passion that lives now, still, despite my ability to inadvertently get lost in the mechanics while I’m trying to live in Service to deliver It.

Then this morning, this came clear, pouring out of me like a crystal fountain:

http://www.theintegratedapproach.com/blog/2008/09/tiatm-path.html

The formatting of that blog isn’t very friendly, so I’ve copied it again here, just in case.

This is the practice I live by. Wanna come play in it together?

Still listening,
Gail

2008 Sept 24th – The TIA(tm) Path

.

• We’re ultimate creators. Everything we experience is a holographic product of our inner world.
  .
• Address issues internally and external “reality” shape shifts.
  .
• The formula for Change, Transformation, Evolution, Self-Actualization, Enlightenment, World Peace:

Bodymind Contractions … Resistence … Fear
*
Authentically Addressed … Evaporated … Resolved
=
Degree of Change, Transformation, Evolution,
Self-Actualization, Enlightenment,
World Peace

• The portal to resolution is “needs consciousness”.
  .
• The steps to resolution can be found in type dynamics and “3-Breath Work”.
  .
• We need community of practice to go deeper and see deeper than we can see / go by ourselves. The eyeball can’t see itself. Thresholds of challenge beyond our skill require others holding the container while we do the work.
  .
• Bodywork is critical for enhancing release. Listening to the body locates release opportunities.
  .
• We are all Face of Spirit, the expression of It more or less contorted through ego / personality / bodymind contractions. For purer expression of Spirit, resolve / attend to contractions.
  .
• As purer Spirit, we gain access to 3 bodies of awareness, influence and guidance.
  .
• At birth we have a “dharma”, a set of bodymind challenges, a set of natural inclinations to contract. With life experiences we can gather more, especially if in painful experiences we recycled pain rather than released it.
  .
• To see your contractions:

……..look to your recurring issues / challenges
……..look to your rules / contractions
……..look to your type preferences / spiral center of gravity / birth number, etc.
……..look to your discontents / unfulfilled dreams
.

• Thoughts reveal emotion. Emotion is an indicator of health, a symptom of resolution or the need for resolution.
  .
• Through best practices on 7 aspects we can consciously peel away our own bodymind blocks to Show As Spirit and shine as the Lights We Most Deeply Are.
  .
• Even as contraction, even as the unconscious playing out of dharma, we are teachers and angels for each other.
  .
• The fuel for the hard work of Change, Transformation, Evolution, Self-Actualization, Enlightenment, World Peace – is Gratitude and Celebration.
  .
• All reality is a liquid dream, a holographic representation of contraction and resolution. With skill you can transform “reality” overnight.
  .
• This can be easy. It takes action, it takes commitment, but it can be easy. When we’re on track, even release that feels “hard” feels like “sweet pain”.
  .
• All the challenges we face personally, interpersonally, culturally and globally come back to Spirit reaching toward evolution, and producing symptoms to show where there is contraction. We have everything we need to resolve all world issues. All we experience today globally – wars, starvation, economic crises, all come back to Spirit Emergent trying to resolve contraction.
  .

If this inspires and/or confuses you, and you want to learn more, please email or call me.

If this makes sense to you and you want to collaborate toward change, transformation, evolution, and enlightenment in yourself, your relationships, community, or on the planet, please email or call me.

Humbly yours
and in Sacred Service,
– Gail

Copyright 2008 Gail Taylor. Copy permission granted to fully in-tact, unmodified copies of this post that include reference to Gail Taylor and http://www.TheIntegratedApproach.com.

Woof and the Universe

I posted these comments on my last post, then realized they got buried (as a comment! go figure!)

So I’m copying them here in deep gratitude and celebration…

g-girl

—————-

Holy Cats.

Holographic Universe, Batman.

No sooner did I post this post, than did I receive (thank you Universe) a Sacred and Rattling and Mind-obliterating set of responses.

Mind obliterating. Just what I needed.
By the way, if you’ve ever heard of Millman’s “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” and haven’t yet stumbled on his, “The Life You Were Born To Live”, I highly recommend it. As another type-dynamics construct goes, I’m nonetheless having my socks blown off by it.

Exactly what I needed.

Exactly what I asked for.
Thank you, Universe…and the Gods and Goddesses that let It through.

- Gail

PS: to be more specific, my bodymind fear and insecurities are being pulled apart by the seams, more deeply than ever before. Something along these lines:

worry/insecurity/fear = wanting safety

oh right, as The Eternal, there is no such thing as unsafe.
And together they danced, my fear and The Eternal Through Me,

over and over

and i saw legions of layers of me doing fear

and i cried, exploded, melted, collapsed

i held the practice, “accepting trust”

and opening into surrender,

and watched more layers of fear collapse into It.

i’m still collapsing

into the void of
stillness

Lost Relationship Prescription?

For those of you who know me really well, you know that I have a very vivid and detailed dream life. It informs me, guides me, and I like to say it helps my brain to “defrag”.

Well I had a defrag dream last night. About Grady. Again.

If you know me really really really well, then you know that Grady (for better or worse) was the great love of my life, albeit a relationship of only a year, which has been over since April (please don’t ask me why yet – if you don’t know already, I’m still not yet ready to talk more about it).

I added the dream to my digital journal this morning, but what I realize is that my brain is still trying to debug him from my system.

No it’s not that. The dream was about being with him again. About enjoying the sweet things I cherished, like the contours of his face. The joy of just *being* together. It was my subconscious trying to give me what I so miss; to soothe me.

In this relationship, I was fully me – fully the kind of person I’d want to be in relationship – more wholly and deeply than I’d ever been before. In this relationship I was more given than I’d ever been in my life – fully given.

I’ve grieved him over and over. I’ve come to peace about his choices, and mine. I’ve forgiven his mistakes, and mine.

And yet still my unconscious is poking at me and making me see where I still ache to be with him.

I’d given myself permission to take six months get over him. But clearly I’m still enmeshed. I keep hearing the echoes of his last words to me, “How can we end this in a way that honors the sacred we shared?” and his subsequent behavior (not responding to any contact from me – after 3 tries I stopped trying, I’ve not heard a peep from him since).

It’s been six f*^%$ months. When will I be over him??

This is deep enough that I’ve written off sexuality for the time being – frankly the thought of being sexual with anyone disgusts me – which for me is absolutely unheard of. This isn’t the longest I’ve gone without taking a lover (the longest being a year), but it’s the longest I’ve felt this alienated from my sexuality. Clearly this breakup hurt and continues to hurt – deeply.

I’ve even tried all my own methods for healing. I can peel back layers of the onion, but evaporating the subject seems impossible. So I step back and let it be, telling myself not to force it. But 6 months?? It was only a year relationship!

Meanwhile my Witness is noticing how much my body/mind continues to learn because of that relationship, and I believe in a bigger meaning to all this, something transpersonal, something I can’t yet see.

But I’m still confused about why I still have heartbreak and dreams of him and yearning for what we had, even after all this time.

You’ve had break-ups before!

What’s YOUR prescription for mending a broken heart?

Lou’s “moist”

A friend sent me this poem, and I found it so fun and delightful, I was moved to share it.

Thank you Lou!!!
Gail

“moist”

i wish you were a
goldfish, yes, I’d hoist you round:
glass bowled orange sun

– Lou Rehder

a loving “no”

a loving “no”

i so, so much want the promise of what you have to offer
oh boy do i.

i also want to trust you, 
      for me to trust you, i need to feel your love in your strength

i felt your sword and your capacity for hardness
      for me to trust you, i also need to experience your equanimity 

i felt your drive and your capacity
      for me to trust you, i also need to feel your presence 

i felt your interest for ‘getting in my pants”, and appreciated your playful humor
      to trust you, i also need to feel your reverence 

so wonderfully enjoying your strength, your capacity, your drive,
your ability to make hard lines,
your capacity to “test” me….
to aggressively confront…
or to knowingly walk away….
i cherish this part of your masculine.

and with this dynamic alone, i don’t wish to play.

meanwhile the child in me 
      that feared my father, 
      so afraid of him leaving me or dismissing me,
feared standing up for what i want

i’m no longer afraid.

i cherish your strength, your hardness, your capacity.

and – for our collaboration - 
i yearn for more than that 
      more humanity
      more divinity
      more power – a power so full it can be chivalrous
      in service, rather than touting its greatness

      more soul.

if we’re to unite in vision and action,
from you
i lovingly invite nothing less
i lovingly invite

choice

AFGO’s – What are they?

“Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.” Who was quoted saying this?

I like friend Miki Kashtan’s quote about AFGOs – A.F.G.O. – Another F@#$% Growth Opportunity.  I got AFGOs by the dozens!

*wink*
Gail

OmyStrangeBrain….

(Language warning – if you’re sensitive to that, don’t read further.)

I’ve got to add this, because it’s got me laughing so hard…for the zillionth time.

My brain has a strange wiring (ha! yea one of many!).

This one, in particular, means that I wind up spouting phrases that I don’t even realize aren’t real phrases – at all – until I am confused at my friends falling-over-laughing….

I’ve come to realize this particular flight of brain strangness has to do with mixing metaphors. And I spout them off without realizing what I’m saying, in all seriousness…

Then when I realize what I’ve said I can’t stop laughing.

I shared this with a friend from up NorthEast, Lee, who also got to laughing…

Hope you enjoy these (as much as I embarass myself inadvertently creating them).

Do you do this too or know someone who does??? Please add yours!! I could use more good laughs!

*shaking my head*
Gail

Gail-

OK, clearly not ready to sleep, I read the list. I am laughing my ass off. I will share this with Elizabeth, and with the circle of men I coach on Thursday nights. I have a theory that men partially live for the moments when women say stuff like this. I know I do!

My favorite is “What a pain in the bitch!”. I think I am going to associate that mentally with a funny line I synthesized recently and have enjoyed using: “I’m going to rip that guy a used asshole!”

–Lee

At 12:15 AM 9/3/2008, you wrote:

My Mixed-Metaphors-Funny-Phrases List

- in one ear and out the window
- Gravy on the cake
- Chip off the iceburg
- at the drop of a heartbeat
- which just goes to prove a point
- cowtowing behind…
- I need a crowbar upside the back of my head
- up front and personal
- throw a canary
- tiptoeing around the bush
- uninhimbered
- Back to scratch
- Frothing at the bit
- green behind the ears
- it gets under my nerves
- swallow the bullet
- the final straw that broke the camel’s back
- Fudging in the dark
- hanker down for the winter
- Shoving a 2×4 down my throat
- It throws a really dark light over the situation…
- i’m just fishing in the dark here
- don’t make me hit you upside the back of the head
- don’t bite the hand of the horse that feeds you
- pulling teeth from a mule
- put the seed in your cap and i’ll check in with you later
- everyone under the planet
- a circle of 10 support beams of light
- my monkey mind can go ape shit
- that’s a real pain in the bitch (Thank you sister Angela for this one!!! Lee said he liked this one best!)

Do You Believe In Coincidence?

Atzmi Daily Message:
______________________________­_______

The events in our lives reflect a purpose, however hidden.  There are
no mistakes, no coincidences, but a continuous thread of revelation
teaching us who we are truly meant to be.

Catching Up with You

Hi again!

Thank you for reading this. I know how busy you are – aren’t we all?

So the fact that you care enough to take the time for this, means a lot to me. Thank you so much.

Now…let’s jump in – I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!!

I mean in catching up, silly!!!!! hehe

Here’s what’s up with me:

A Warm August

August was so nurturing. I continued my routine 3-day weekends and meditations. But that’s not all I mean.

Jimmy "Jeeeemeeee"

Since I don’t celebrate most holidays,
my birthday (8/13) is very special to me,
it gives me a time to feel celebrated and
cherished in the world.

This year more than 40 people called,
emailed, or sang me happy birthday -
which felt really sweet – thank you so
so much!!!!

Plus, my friend Gustavo (and his
wife Maria) made it possible for me to
spend a few days in NYC catching up
with fellow NVC trainers and driving
out to the Buffalo area to see my sister
and best-friend-from-my-hometown
Jimmy, who I’ve known since I was 13
and who introduced me to deep Art
philosophies at 14.

Occu-Passion ™

At work I’m celebrating tremendous abundance, too.

You may or may not know that my writing / my work has been about philosophy, personal development, and spiritual growth.

Well I’ve recently re-launched the TIA brand site (http://www.TheIntegratedApproach.com), separated my personal blog (http://tiagail.wordpress.com) from my work blog (http://www.TheIntegratedApproach.com/blog/), and am now in the process of relaunching the website for my publishing company, Lifestyle and Prosperity, LLC (http://www.LifestyleAndProsperity.com).

Afshan, the woman from India who is doing all the coding and design, is helping make all of this happen. I must say I’d never do it without her. She’s extraordinary.

Meanwhile I’m also *finally* crystallizing my dream of offering self-paced online courses where people can come find proven and easy ways to thrive….and find a community of shared practice. More news on that soon!

Robert Scanlon

Thanks to Robert Scanlon, my Australian business partner, we’re also now in full swing of launching the first of many (hopefully) threads that support growth, success, and fulfillment.

This thread is to help people who are Overwhelmed – not enough time – too many things on the To Do list….can’t find ways to juggle work and life commitments and still have space to rest and relax and enjoy and sleep…..

Right now we’re calling it the Overcoming Overwhelm thread – you can find it at http://www.IWantMoreBalance.com.

Giving Back

On the IWantMoreBalance.com site we’ve already given out more free videos, articles, and audios than I can count, and more than a THOUSAND people have become part of the community, just in the last few months. Here’s one of the images of one of our freebies:

Free 4-Part Series - Are You Overcommitted?

Oh by the way if you haven’t already, I’d be honored if you’d pass the URL on to friends who you think would love all the free videos and articles and such — http://www.IWantMoreBalance.com .

Meanwhile Janette (http://www.successtranscripts.com) has helped us turn out quite a bit of content, and we’re hiring more and more people all the time.

By the way, we’re hiring all the time!! If you want to work together, email me and let’s talk!!

For example, do you know anyone with Drupal saavy who might enjoy partnering with us around our site developments? Send me names and contact info, please!!!

I also accepted a seat on the board of CNVC (http://www.CNVC.org). The funny thing was that I thought it was a 1-year appointment, and didn’t realize until they confirmed my seat that it’s a 3-year commitment! Ack! Ah well. I’m happy to be giving back, especially to an organization I care so much about supporting.

Where On Earth Am I?

Some people still keep asking me, “Where are you living now? Are you still in NJ?” Nope, that was just for the blissful year I lived with Chad and Jason after I tried on the Polyamory mantle. (If you don’t know the words “poly” or “polyamory”, you can learn more about it here: http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html and feel free to ask me questions over wine or over lunch!)

In 2005 I left NY (Westchester County) and moved to NJ just for 1 year, then in 2006 I moved to Colorado, where I worked a year with Integral Institute and friends Ken Wilber (http://www.IntegralLife.com), Jeff Salzman (who is co-creating one of my favorite communities, http://www.boulderintegral.org/), and Hui Lam, who I met while training as a trainer trainee with David Deida (http://www.deida.info/).

The end of 2006 was a turbulent and hard whirlwind, especially because my dad passed away that October. Thankfully, all is well that ends well, and everything has worked itself out quite spaciously. More on that later.

After all that moving around — of all things!!! — now I’m considering a move back to the East Coast (Fairfax VA, not far from Washington DC).

Do you know any great poly or Integral or NVC folks that live out near DC? Let me know!

Suuuuuuuper Social

I’ve gotten really active in the whole social networking thing ever since starting to studying Internet Marketing study about a year ago.

I told you about my personal blog (http://tiagail.wordpress.com). But I also have profiles on:

• twitter (http://twitter.com/gailtaylor)
• facebook (http://profile.to/gailtaylor)
• linkedin (http://www.linkedin.com/in/gailtaylor)
• and plaxo (search for Gail Taylor, Lifestyle And Prosperity, LLC).

Are you on any of these services? Connect with me there!

I’m also now creating a personal page (http://www.gailtaylor.info) to keep it all straight!

What would you like to see me put on it?

Angela - my sister

More On Family

As I mentioned earlier, in Nov 2006
my father passed away. Probate is
finally finished (took long enough)
and my sister Angela is sensationally
‘on her feet’ – she now drives, has a full-
time job that she loveshatesloveshates
loves to hate. She looks just amazing.
She even grins occasionally. (If you know
my sister, you know she has a “don’t bug
me” exterior but she’s an extraordinary
human being, and hyper-talented.)

Her job has her sewing, and in just a
few months she created reknown for
her excellence that got her seniority.
Amazing.

Molly aka Happy Dog

My Pomeranian Molly is going to be 4 Years Old come November 5th. She has me well trained, so she’s fat and happy. I call her ‘Chunky’ now.

Oh Wrap It Up Already!!!

Ok ok…. Hey, thank you for taking time to read this and to celebrate with me!

Did I answer any questions you might have about me? And then some? hehe

Tell me about YOUR joys….what are you doing these days that you’re passionate about?

I look forward to catching up and hearing what’s new with you!!

Sending love and sweet blessings,
Gail

Me and Chunky Molly